Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I have mental problems.

My second bookkeeper in 2 months quit on me , stating that the job is too stressful. This has no bearing on the actual position or the work associated with this position , as I have yet to teach either bookkeeper what the full job duties are.
This is primarily a reflection of my personal attitude and demeanor at work. Despite my 38 years on this planet , I still have a tendency to throw temper tantrums like a frustrated , inarticulate 2 year old. This occasional outburst has apparently branded employment at my company as a Hostile Environment according to the latest bookkeepers unemployment compensation claim.
I spent a lot of time yesterday beating myself up over this. I have since forgiven myself , as I realized I have managed a revolving 20-25 employees over the last 15 years without similar complaint. The majority of my employees , past and present , enjoy(ed) working with me and actually consider me level-headed , competent and fair despite my stressful position.
BUT>.......... I have always known that my volatile temperament , mood swings , mental instability , manic-depressive disorder and anxiety need to be addressed. I don`t know, as of yet , how I`m going to do so without drugs. I already am sleeping , exercising , and eating properly. I need to come up with a new plan.

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